Open Letter to My Neighbor

Dear “thoughtful” neighbor,

Thank you for the passive aggressive “it would be considerate of you to leave space for someone else to park here, especially on street sweeping days” letter you left on my car.  After being violently ill for the last 12 hours, I so loved finally leaving for work (after a restless night of sleep I really wanted to call in sick, but since my calendar was full of meetings I couldn’t reschedule, I went in late and hoped for the best) and finding your note.

Please allow me to respond:
1. When I finally got home last night at almost 11 PM (working, not out drinking) I assumed I would not find a space anywhere near my house.  Miraculously I found a spot across the street (even though today was street sweeping day and parking was limited).  When I parked, I pulled up as close as I thought I reasonably could to the driveway of the neighbor across the street.  I thought I left enough room behind me for a second car.  Apparently not.

2. Neither you nor I own the street in front of our homes.  It is public domain.  You and I don’t have a right or a guarantee of parking in front of our properties.  When I arrived home, the far end of the block had numerous spaces–I’m sure if you couldn’t find a space near your house, you could have at least parked in one of those.  Incidentally, I park half way down the block at least once a week if not more often.  If you couldn’t find a space, you could have A) taken the chance that the ticketing agent would let the 1 ft you’d be over the No Parking sign slide; or B) park on the other side of the street and get up early and move your car before 8 AM like half the neighborhood does; or C) do what most people on our block do–if you think you need/deserve a close space, make sure you’re home at a reasonable hour so you can beat the rush and get one.

3. If I was really trying to be a bitch and screw someone out of a parking space, I would have parked in the middle of the damn space.

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