If the Girl Scouts Had Badges Like These

I might have stayed with it…

Of course the Order of the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique (OOTSSOERAAAP for short, or long) don’t have to wear stupid uniforms, sell cookies to strangers or keep their dishes in a mesh bag in a tree and they do approve of alcohol and have better badges than the girl scouts.  I’m pretty sure I should be awarded the following:

The “talking science” badge.
Required for all members. Assumes the recipient conducts himself/herself in such a manner as to talk science whenever he/she gets the chance. Not easily fazed by looks of disinterest from friends or the act of “zoning out” by well intentioned loved ones. (DN)

The “MacGyver” badge.
In which the recipient has demonstrated that his/her science communciation prowess was handy in simplifying a potentially challenging scenario. For example, was able to escape from unjustified prison term, with the clever use of a paper clip and WD-40. You know, that kind of thing. (Note that display of badge must be accompanied by explanation). (JN)  **My note: duct tape (although not good for ducts, can fix anything, as can paperclips, yarn or folded cardboard).

The “arts and crafts” badge.
Because you can’t have a bunch of badges without an arts and crafts badge. This one assumes the recipient has all manner of “craftiness” with a sciencegeek twist. (AC)

The “I may look like a scientist but I’m actually also a ninja” badge.
Lethal when in combination with the “destroyer of quackery” badge. (AC)
***Ok, so technically, I’m not really a ninja, but this is a cool badge.
The “my degree inadvertantly makes me competent in fixing household appliances” badge.
Not necessarily a good thing. (JN)
***I have an old washing machine that will back me up on this one.
The “dodger of monkey shit” badge.
One of our self explanatory badges. (EM)
***I am no longer an official dodger of monkey shit, but my year working at the zoo qualifies me for this one.
The “cloner” badge.
In which the recipient has cloned something or other. Rules to a drinking game concerning this badge will be forthcoming. (RPM)
****EL and I cloned one hell of a bacteria strain in college. Couldn’t tell you how we did it, but when we were done, they glowed in the dark!
The “I may look like a scientist, but I’m actually also a pirate” badge.
Drinks rum. Into pillaging and stuff. Soft spot for evolutionary biology. (J)
****And is a faithful follower of the FSM.
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One Response to If the Girl Scouts Had Badges Like These

  1. Pingback: Badges! | Searching for a band of gypsies

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